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Episode 1 - English Dub Transcript
[Opening: Cherry Blossom Kiss] [Indistinct chattering] Haruhi Fujioka – [Sigh] ~''This place has four library rooms. You'd think one of them would be quiet.~ ~''How are things in heaven Mom? I can't believe it's been ten years already. I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time.~ ~''An abandoned music room. I guess this is the only place I'll be able to study in peace and quiet.~ 'Ouran Host Club' – "Welcome!" '''Haruhi Fujioka' – ~''When I opened the door, I found the Host Club.~ '"Starting Today, You Are a Host!"' 'Tamaki Suoh' – "Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, Ouran Academy. The Ouran Host Club is where the school's handsomest boys, with too much time on their hands, entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful." '''Haruhi Fujioka' – "This is a host club?" Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Oh wow, it's a boy!" Kyoya Ootori – "Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man is in the same class as you, isn't he?" Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Yeah, but he's shy. He doesn't act very sociably, so we don't know much about him." Kyoya Ootori – "Hm. Well, that wasn't very polite." "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Mr. Honor Student." Tamaki Suoh – "What? You must be Haruhi Fujioka! You're the exceptional honor student we've heard about." Haruhi Fujioka – "How did you know my name?" Kyoya Ootori – "Why, you're infamous. It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy. You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student Mr. Fujioka." Haruhi Fujioka – "Well uh, thank you I guess" Tamaki Suoh – "You're welcome. You're a hero to other poor people, Fujioka. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others." Haruhi Fujioka – "I think you're taking this "poor" thing too far." Tamaki Suoh – "Spurned. Neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man, to our world of beauty." Haruhi Fujioka – "I'm outta here." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Hey! Come back here Haru-chan! You must be like a superhero or something. That's so cool!" Haruhi Fujioka – "I'm not a hero. I'm an honor student. And who are you calling "Haru-chan"!?" Tamaki Suoh – "I never would've imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay." Haruhi Fujioka – "Openly what?" Tamaki Suoh – "So tell me what kind of guys you're into. Do you like the strong, silent type? The boy Lolita? How about the mischievous type, or the cool type?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Uh... I, uh... It's not like that. I was just looking for a quiet place to study." Tamaki Suoh – "Or maybe... You're into a guy like me. What do you say?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Uh." [Gasp] [Gasp] [Whimper] Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Aww." Hikaru Hitachiin – "We were going to feature that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction." Kaoru Hitachiin – "Oh, now you've done it commoner. The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at ¥8,000,000!" Haruhi Fujioka – "What? ¥8,000,000!? How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in a million?" "Uh, I'm gonna have to pay you back." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "With what money? You can't even afford a school uniform." Kaoru Hitachiin – "What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?" Kyoya Ootori – "Well, what do you think we should do Tamaki?" Tamaki Suoh – "There's a famous saying you may have heard Fujioka, "When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do." Since you have no money, you can pay with your body. That means starting today, you're the Host Club's dog." Bark Bark Howl Haruhi Fujioka – ~''I don't know if I can handle this Mom. I've been captured by a bunch of boys that are calling themselves a host club.~ '''Mitsukuni Haninozuka' – "Poke, poke?" Host Club – "Huh?" ---- [Indistinct chattering] Girl – "Um, Tamaki, what's your favorite song?" Tamaki Suoh – "What song? The one that reminds me of you, of course." Girl – "I baked you a cake today. Would you like to taste it?" Tamaki Suoh – "Only if you'll feed it to me darling." Girl – "Oh wow. You're so dreamy." Seika Ayanokoji – "May I have a word with you Tamaki?" Tamaki Suoh and Girl 2 – "Huh?" Seika Ayanokoji – "I've recently heard the Host Club is keeping a little kitten without a pedigree." Tamaki Suoh – "I don't know if I'd call him that." "Speak of the devil! Thanks for doing the shopping little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" Haruhi Fujioka – "What? Piglet?" Tamaki Suoh – "Hey, wait a minute, what is this?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Just what it looks like. It's coffee." Tamaki Suoh – "I've never seen this brand before. Is this the kind that's already ground?" Haruhi Fujioka – "What do you mean? It's instant coffee." Girls – "It's instant?" Tamaki Suoh – "Whoa. I've heard of this before. It's commoners' coffee. You just add hot water." Girl – "I didn't know there was such a thing." Girl – "So it's true then. Poor people don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans." Girls – "Mm hmm!" Kyoya Ootori – "Commoners are pretty smart." Hikaru Hitachiin – "100 grams for ¥300?" Kaoru Hitachiin – "That's a lot less than we normally pay." Haruhi Fujioka – "I'll go back and get something else. Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee." Tamaki Suoh – "No, I'll keep it." Crowd – [Gasp] Tamaki Suoh – "I'm going to give it a try." Crowd – [Gasp] Tamaki Suoh – "I will drink this coffee!" Crowd – [Applause] Tamaki Suoh – "Alright Haruhi, get over here and make me some of this commoners' coffee." Haruhi Fujioka – ~''I hate all these damn rich people.~ '''Seika Ayanokoji' – "Oh Tamaki, now you're taking the joke too far. Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it." Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Seika Ayanokoji – "I'm sorry. I was talking to myself." Haruhi Fujioka – "Um..." Tamaki Suoh – "Haruhi!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Eh, I'm comin'" "Here." Tamaki Suoh – "Let the tasting begin." Girl – "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff." Girl – "I'm afraid if I drink this my father will yell at me." Tamaki Suoh – "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" Girl – "Well then I would drink it." Girls – [Squealing] Haruhi Fujioka – ~''This is ridiculous.~ '''Hikaru Hitachiin' – [Chuckle] "So he had this nightmare that made him bolt up right out of bed." Kaoru Hitachiin – "Hikaru! Don't tell them that story. I asked you not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?" Hikaru Hitachiin – "I'm sorry Kaoru." Girls – [Gasp] Hikaru Hitachiin – "I didn't mean to upset you, but you were so adorable when it happened, I had to tell them. I'm sorry." Kaoru Hitachiin – "I forgive you." Girls – [Squeal] "I've never seen brotherly love quite like that." Haruhi Fujioka – "What are they so excited about? I just don't get it." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – [Yawn] "Sorry, we're running late." Girl – "Hello Honey. Hey Mori." Girl – "We've been waiting here for you guys, hi" Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "I'm sorry. I was waiting for Takashi to finish his kendo meeting and I fell asleep. Mm, and I'm still not completely awake." Girls – [Gasp] "So cute!" [Giggling] Haruhi Fujioka – "Is that boy really a third year student?" Kyoya Ootori – "Honey-senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy." Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Kyoya Ootori – "And then Mori-senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition." Haruhi Fujioka – "Uh..." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Haru-chan!" Haruhi Fujioka – [Yelp] Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Hey Haru-chan, do you want to go have some cake with me?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Thanks, but I don't really like cake." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Then how would you like to hold my bunny Usa-chan?" Haruhi Fujioka – "I'm not into bunnies." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Haruhi Fujioka – [Gasp] "I guess he is kinda cute, huh?" Mitsukuni Haninozuka – [Gasp] "Take good care of him, okay?" [Laugh] Kyoya Ootori – "You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests. Just so you know, Tamaki is number one around here. He's the king. His request rate is 70%." Haruhi Fujioka – "What's this world coming to?" Kyoya Ootori – "And in order for you to pay off your ¥8,000,000 debt with us, you will act as the Ouran Host Club's dog until you graduate. I'm sorry, I meant our errand boy. You can try to run away if you want to Haruhi, but just so you know, my family employs a priavte police force of 100 officers. By the way, do you have a passport?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Tamaki Suoh – "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd." [Blow] Haruhi Fujioka – [Hyperventilating] "Please don't do that again." Tamaki Suoh – "You need a makeover or no girl's going to look twice at you." Haruhi Fujioka – "Yeah, well, I'm not trying to get girls to look at me." Tamaki Suoh – "Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing. You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies, like me." Haruhi Fujioka – "I just don't think it's all that important." Tamaki Suoh – "Hm?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Why should I care about appearances and labels anyway? I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside right? I don't understand why you even have a host club like this." Tamaki Suoh – "It's a cruel reality, isn't it? Haruhi Fujioka – [Grunt] Tamaki Suoh – "It's not often that God creates a perfect person like moi, beautiful both inside and out." Haruhi Fujioka – "Say what?" Tamaki Suoh and (Haruhi Fujioka) – "I understand how you feel since not everyone is blessed as I am, but you must console yourself. Otherwise how would you go on living? (~''Huh.~) And think about this Haruhi. Why do you think they put works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world, and those born beautiful should (~''There's a word to describe people like him.~) promote other beautiful things. That's why I started this club in the first place. I did it for those who are (~''Hmm. What is it?~) starved for beauty. For those working day and night, pursuing beauty. And although (~''Aw man, I wish I could remember that word. Hmmm~) your looks may be average, and you have a few negative characteristics, I've chosen to share my expertise with you. Here's a tip. When setting down your glass, extend your pinky finger as a cushion, and that way when you set it down you won't be (~''Uhh''~) making a lot of noise. Gentlemen do not (~''maybe...~) make loud sounds. Besides, (~"a pain in the neck"?~) a gentleman looks much more refined (~''No, there's something that fits him perfectly~) that way. I like to check my reflection.., but above all else Haruhi, you must remember, how effective a glance to the side can be. (Huh. I got it!) Oh, did I strike a chord? (Obnoxious!)" Haruhi Fujioka – "Uh, I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – [Laugh] Hikaru Hitachiin – "You're a hero alright." Kaoru Hitachiin – "Uh-huh." Haruhi Fujioka – ~''But he is a pain in the neck.~ "I'm sorry senpai, but your lesson did strike a small chord with me." '''Tamaki Suoh' – "Really? It did? Let me teach you more, my friend." Haruhi Fujioka – "Well, he got over that quick." Kaoru Hitachiin – "Boss?" Tamaki Suoh – "Call me King." Kaoru Hitachiin – "You can teach him all the basics of hosting..." Hikaru Hitachiin – "But he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part you know. He's not exactly host club material but..." Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Hikaru Hitachiin – "Maybe if we took off his glasses it'll help." Haruhi Fujioka – "Hey! I need those. I used to have contacts but I lost them on the first day of school." Tamaki Suoh – [Gasp] "Hikaru, Kaoru." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Got it!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh? Huh?" [Yell] Tamaki Suoh – "Kyoya, my hairstylist. Mori-senpai, go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "What about me Tama-chan?" Tamaki Suoh – "Honey-senpai." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Yes sir!" Tamaki Suoh – "You... go have some cake." Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "It's just us Usa-chan. Everyone else said they were to busy." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Here! Change into this uniform." Haruhi Fujioka – "What? But why?" Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "Don't ask questions!" Haruhi Fujioka – "No way! Okay fine, I'll change, but you two have to get out." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – [Yell] [Stutter] "Huh?" Mitsukuni Haninozuka – [Sigh] Haruhi Fujioka – "Um, Senpai?" Tamaki Suoh – "Aren't you done changing yet?" Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Hmmm?" Haruhi Fujioka – "You sure it's really okay for me to keep this uniform?" Tamaki Suoh – "Cute! You're as pretty as a girl! Adorable!" Mitsukuni Haninozuka – "Haru-chan, you look so cute!" Hikaru Hitachiin – "If we had known that's how you really look..." Kaoru Hitachiin – "We would've helped you out sooner." Kyoya Ootori – "Who knows? Maybe he'll draw in some customers." Tamaki Suoh – "You know, that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the Host Club. I will personally train you to be a first-rate host. If you can get 100 customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your ¥8,000,000 debt." Haruhi Fujioka – "A host?" ---- Kimiko Sakurazuka – "So, tell me Haruhi. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?" Momoka Kurakano – "I'm curious, what kind of products do you use on your skin?" Girl – "Yes, it's so pretty." Haruhi Fujioka – ~''I can't do this anymore. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.~ '''Girls' – "So why did you join the Host Club Haruhi?" [Giggle] Haruhi Fujioka – "Uh." ~''All I have to do is get 100 customers to request me, and they'll forget about my ¥8,000,000 debt. I know just the story.~ '''Momoka Kurakano' – "I see, your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago. Who does the chores around the house?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Oh, I do them myself. My mother taught me. She was an amazing cook, and when she went to the hospital, she left me all kinds of great recipes. It was fun to create each dish, especially when they turned out well, and it made me happy to see my dad enjoy it. I've had a hard childhood, but Dad and I have managed to make it through okay." Kimiko Sakurazuka – "So uh..." Girl – "Is it okay if tomorrow..." Momoka Kurakano – "We request to sit with you again?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Yeah, I'd really appreciate that ladies." Tamaki Suoh – "Why is he so popular?" Kyoya Ootori – "He's a natural." Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin – "No training needed." Seika Ayanokoji – "Have you forgotten about me?" Tamaki Suoh – "Oh, no. Sorry Princess. I'm just a little concerned about our newest host." Seika Ayanokoji – "Well that's obvious Tamaki. You sure have been keeping an eye on him." Tamaki Suoh – "Of course. I have to. I'm training him to be a gentleman like me." Girls – [Giggling] Tamaki Suoh – "Haruhi! Come here for a minute." Haruhi Fujioka – "What's up?" Tamaki Suoh – "I'd like you to meet someone. This is my regular guest, Princess Ayanokoji." Haruhi Fujioka – [Gasp] ~''It's that girl from earlier''~ "Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Tamaki Suoh – "That was so cute! That air of bashfulness was very good! Super good! Amazingly good!" Seika Ayanokoji – "Uh, Tamaki?" Tamaki Suoh – "You're so cute!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Mori-senpai! Help me!" Tamaki Suoh – "I'm never gonna let you go!" Takashi Morinozuka – [Gasp] Tamaki Suoh – "Mori-senpai, you really din't have to go that far." "Come on little one, let Daddy give you a big hug." Haruhi Fujioka – "I've already got a dad, I don't need another one." "Hey, what happened to my bag? Uh, are you kidding me? Then how did that happen? I didn't think there were bullies at this school. Hm, guess they're everywhere." Seika Ayanokoji – "Oh! It's you again. I bet you love having Tamaki making you over and fawning over you. It's useless though. You're always going to be a second-class citizen." Haruhi Fujioka – ~''I have a feeling that girl's the one who threw my bag in the pond. I can't be bothered with her right now though. I've gotta find my wallet or I won't have any money for food this week.~ '''Tamaki Suoh' – "Hey, commoner! You've got some nerve skipping out on the club like that. Why is your bag all wet?" Haruhi Fujioka – "It's no big deal. I got it. I just can't find my food money." Tamaki Suoh – "Hm?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Hey, you don't have to do that. You'll get wet." Tamaki Suoh – "A little water never hurt anyone. Besides, people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks. Oh, hang on a second. This what you're looking for? What's the matter, you're staring off into space. You're not falling for me, are you?" Haruhi Fujioka – "No way!" Tamaki Suoh – "How did your bag end up in the pond anyway?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Well uh, I guess I accidentally dropped it out the window at some point." Seika Ayanokoji – "Oh really? That must've been terrible. I can't imagine what I'd do if my bag fell into the pond." Haruhi Fujioka – ~''Why did she request me when it's obvious she doesn't like me?~ '''Seika Ayanokoji' – "And you actually made Tamaki search that dirty old pond with you. How astonishing! You do realize he's a blueblood and not a commoner, right? The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman." Haruhi Fujioka – [Gasp] Seika Ayanokoji – "Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you." Haruhi Fujioka – "Now I understand. You're jealous of me." Seika Ayanokoji – [Scream] "No, Haruhi! Leave me alone! Somebody help, he just attacked me!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Seika Ayanokoji – "Somebody do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Hm?" Seika Ayanokoji – "Why did you do that? Do something, Tamaki. Haruhi just assaulted me." Tamaki Suoh – "I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?" Seika Ayanokoji – "You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?" Tamaki Suoh – "You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you aren't classy enough to be our guest dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man." Seika Ayanokoji – "But, why Tamaki? You idiot!" [Cry] Tamaki Suoh – "Hmmm... Now how am I going to punish you? Because it is your fault after all. Your quota is now 1000!" Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh? 1000?" Tamaki Suoh – "Come on. I got high expectations for you, my little rookie." Haruhi Fujioka – "Huh?" Kyoya Ootori – "This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Thanks a lot you guys. I'm gonna go change." Tamaki Suoh – "Haruhi, here you go. I brought you some towels." Haruhi Fujioka – [Gasp] Tamaki Suoh – "Haruhi." Haruhi Fujioka – "Yeah?" Tamaki Suoh – "So, you're a girl?" Haruhi Fujioka – "Biologically speaking, yeah." Tamaki Suoh – [Scream] Haruhi Fujioka – "Listen Senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are." Kyoya Ootori and (Tamaki Suoh) – ([Stammering]) "Well isn't this an interesting development?" Hikaru Hitachiin and Kaoru Hitachiin and (Tamaki Suoh) – ([Stammering]) "Oh, yeah." Haruhi Fujioka and (Tamaki Suoh) – ([Stammering]) "Uh, you know, I have to say Senpai, I thought you were pretty cool earlier." Tamaki Suoh – [Stammering] Kyoya Ootori – "Now, I could be wrong but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here." Haruhi Fujioka – "Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad." Tamaki Suoh – [Gasp] Haruhi Fujioka – "I wonder how I can pull it off. I've got it. I'll just call everyone "dude" and "bro" now." [Laugh] ---- [Closing: Sprint] Ep 02 Preview: Tamaki Suoh – "Don't start getting full of yourself just because you're popular. If you're going to be a host..." Haruhi Fujioka – "Wow! Another customer's requested me!" Tamaki Suoh – "Don't take my customers!" "Next time: The Job of a High School Host!" Tamaki Suoh – "The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you." Host Club – "We'll see you then!" Category:Anime Category:Anime Episodes